Several years ago, my neighbor Judy and I were walking home from a book club meeting. I was a bit miffed that the women barely talked about the book. She looked at me, smiled, and said, “this was your first book club meeting, wasn’t it?” Her response filled me with joy. I instantly knew we’d be great friends.
We had a lot of fun. But then Judy was diagnosed with cancer for the third – and final time. We were all devastated.
As the end neared, her daughter rotated a calendar from New York, and we all took turns being with Judy. She was never alone. For several weeks we sat with her, we cooked, and we ate our meals together. We relived our stories, we laughed and we cried. It was a very special time for all of us.
I don’t know if Judy had a long-term care policy. For her, it didn’t matter — she had something more valuable. The average costs for care in San Diego in 2025 are a sobering reminder of just how much that circle of support is worth.
- In-home care: averages $39.14 per hour, or about $7,462 per month for 44 hours of care per week.
- Assisted living in a facility (help with bathing, dressing, meals, medications): Typically $4,500–$7,000 per month, with the average landing around $5,475.
- Memory care in a secure environment: Generally $6,000–$9,000 per month depending on level of support.
- Skilled nursing facility (24/7 medical oversight): Often exceeds $10,000 per month.
We should all be so fortunate to have a circle of friends like Judy had. Vulnerability is not easy. But it’s a gift.
Happy Mother’s Day — and to the friends who show up. They’re everything!
Barbara
May 10, 2026
Sources:
Clara Home Care San Diego (2025)
Melina Rissone, CSA/SRES — San Diego Senior Housing Costs (2025).
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